I was very kindly invited by Marcie and Ginnie to write a guest post for their collaborative photo and essay blog, Vision and Verb. You can find my essay, ‘The View From Here’ by clicking here.
While you’re there, I urge you to stay a while to enjoy the fine photography and essays by the talented women from around the world who are regular contributors to this wonderful place.
A Typical French Day
Proof that I live on the French Riviera.
08h00 Stagger out of bed. Pull on bright pink dressing gown. Turn laptop on. Feed cat. Make coffee while My Favourite Belgian fetches fresh baguette from boulangerie.
Check emails and blogs
Clean up cat vomit.
Chat on msn with daughter. Accept transfer of term paper to edit, due by day’s end. Reflect on irony of having escaped writing university term papers, now cornered into editing for others.
Eat breakfast in pink gown and companionable silence, casting longing glances at morning newspaper. Accommodate MFB’s values, which place reading at mealtime slightly below flatulence in elevators.
09h00 Re-read emails, yesterday’s sent emails, other blog comments, still in pink gown.
The village next door , much more picturesque than ours.
Write emails. Read online newspaper. Read re-read emails. Check new blog posts. Check again for comments. Check responses to comments.
Shower/shampoo/blow-dry/dress. Wish for thick hair with style resilience. Make bed. Remind myself bed-making job is voluntary position.
Pour first coffee of day. Contemplate why new chapter in novel-in-progress is not progressing
Read blogs
Write half of blog post
Read blogs.
Contemplate my addiction to blogs.
13:00 2-course lunch prepared by self or MFB. Report blog news/Canadian news on my side. Report computer programming news on his side.
Fight the urge to nap.
Nap.
Read blogs.
Read emails.
A mere 10 minutes from the madding crowds of Cannes
Brisk walk in Provencal countryside. Barely able to keep up to American friend despite her small stature and 10-year seniority. Vow to get more exercise.
Read blogs
Realize term paper still not edited.
Read emails
Edit term paper.
Contemplate writing new chapter of novel-in-progress. Decide it’s too late for today. Do online crossword instead.
19:30 2 course dinner prepared by self or MFB. Wider range of conversational topics, including but not limited to blog news, computer programming news, family news, weather, how to get cat not to vomit.
20:00 Evening TV news with gorgeous 50-something female news anchor - whose lover is half her age and looks half as smart. Followed by weather report with gorgeous 60-something female weather forecaster. Contemplate the well-preserved good looks of French women.
Brush teeth. Wonder if Botox would help me look like French weather forecaster. Hope having clean teeth will eliminate urge to snack.
Evening television-watching with MFB while simultaneously doing internet job, laptop on lap.
22:00 Snack
Read/write emails
Read blogs
Contemplate another day without progress on the novel-in-progress. Consider abandoning novel. Consider getting a handle on blogging addiction.
23:30 Bed. Fall asleep over book in 9 1/2 minutes.
A Typical Canadian Day
Proof that I also live near the Rocky Mtns.
08h00 Stagger out of bed. Pull on ratty green dressing gown. Turn laptop on. Make coffee. Feed son’s cat. Feed son’s dog. Stop dog chasing/licking cat.
Cat after dog face-wash
09:00 Chat on MSN with MFB. Accept transfer of documents in French, and agree to translate into English.
09:30 Fast shower/haircare/dress.
10:00 Take daughter’s car for summer tires. While waiting, take 110-lb dog for long walk. Attempt to train dog to heel. Dislocate shoulder as dog lunges at wild hare.
Dog after cat face-wash
Pick up car. Break news to daughter that front wheels of car falling off and require expensive repairs. Cancel afternoon shopping trip as car status uncertain. Return home.
11:30 Son #1 emerges from upstairs room, thunders into kitchen, downs 5 litres of milk enhanced with protein powder, cooks 6 eggs , utters 3 words, slams back door on way out.
Read one-half of online newspaper article.
12:00 Son #2 emerges from basement. Excites dog, who barks wildly. Experience painful aural concussion. Son stands mutely at open fridge door, eventually abandoning quest for breakfast. Leaves for work. Dog howls inconsolably. Remove shoe from dog’s jaws.
Spend several hours removing four month’s worth of grime from overlooked corners, banisters, stovetops and behind furniture. Remove shoe from dog’s jaws.
Fight urge to nap.
Nap.
Blog briefly
17:30 Student boarder emerges from room. Stands mutely at fridge door, eventually withdrawing carton of eggs. Landlady offers pork chops/zucchini/roasted potatoes instead and eats with boarder.
Remove feather duster from dog’s jaws. Feed dog.
Dog walk park. Spring not readily apparent.
Look forward to quiet evening of writing new chapter of novel-in-progress. Blog briefly.
Friend of son #2 arrives. Entertain friend while waiting for Son, who eventually arrives with more friends. Girlfriend of son arrives for sleepover. Spontaneous party erupts in kitchen.
21:30 Daughter arrives unexpectedly accompanied by two male Good Samaritans, holding large ice pack to right eye. Contemplate damage done by 30-mph Frisbee to orbital socket and determine emergency treatment by medical professional un-necessary. Recall when daughter diagnosed by mother as having painful period, eventually operated on for near-perforated appendix. Hope diagnostic skills have improved since.
Drive daughter home, picking up pirate eye patch and anti-inflammatory medication on way. Wonder if taller, better-looking, twenty-something Samaritan will realize an irresistible attraction for black-eyed girl but forget where mother lives.
22:30 Return home to quiet house. Play piano briefly. Investigate source of persistent loud hum from basement. Call son to determine proper procedure for turning off 10,000 watt amplifier without electrocuting self.
Finish second half of newspaper article.
23h15 Son #2 returns home with friend/girlfriend. Impromptu jam session in basement, without amplifier.
Snack. Blog. Snack.
00:30 Chat with MFB on Skype in relative quiet of upstairs bedroom. Realize translation job has been forgotten.
01:15 Bed. Fall asleep over book in 3 1/2 minutes.
05:30 Get up to pee just as Son #1 returns home.
